An 8-year-old cat named Mittens accidentally racked up 4,500 frequent flyer miles in 24 hours after a baggage handler forgot to unload her, sending her on three back-to-back flights between New Zealand and Australia. After a day in the dark with no snacks or bathroom breaks, Mittens may be the first pet to need her own emotional support animal.

Scammers have been at it since ancient Greece, but modern cons now include fake perfume knockouts and AI-generated Brad Pitts swindling lonely hearts out of millions. When it comes to love, it’s less C.R.E.A.M. and more C.R.I.M.E.—Cash Ruins Intimate Mating Eventually.

In 2025, MLK Day and Trump’s inauguration will fall on the same Monday, giving us a historic two-for-one holiday — and robbing us of a perfectly good extra day off. You can’t wear two pairs of shoes at once, so why should we have to cram two holidays into one work-free day?

After a decade of allegedly eavesdropping, Siri’s hush money amounts to a whopping $20 per iPhone user — barely enough to buy a Lightning cable at the Apple Store. For that payout, she might as well start recording my browser history and really make it worth my while.