Cover Charge
Grill & Be Gone
Thanks to the gig economy you can now buy virtually any service.
Need to get somewhere but don't wanna drive? Uber. Wanna eat out but don't wanna leave the house? Uber Eats. Need someone to hang out and grill with? Rent-a-griller.
While that might not be the official service name, dozens of barbecue companionship ads have popped up on Russian classified sites lately. Exclusively directed at men, the ads vary in services offered, including meat grilling, joke telling, tent pitching and concert going. The one thing they absolutely do not offer is lasting friendship.
So, they're basically selling a cameo appearance in your very own buddy cop movie.
These Netflix & Grill sessions run between $13 and $65 a day, and even include grocery shopping — if you foot the bill. One guy, identified only as Artem, claims to be a chef living in Moscow who will grill your meat and keep you company, but under no circumstances become your friend.
Do you understand the words that are coming out my ad?
Another guy, Yuri, says he started offering his services because he wants to spend weekends outdoors and has nobody to go with him. And now he's getting paid to hang out. Man, I gotta get in on this!
Hi, I'm Will. I like traveling to exotic locations to experience new cultures by sampling authentic cuisine and engaging the locals. While I only speak English, I read maps very well (regardless of language), tell good jokes, and am an excellent wing man. All expenses paid services start at $3,000.
Any takers?
Side Orders
Those Russian griller-for-hire ads were never about the barbecue. Yuri had access to the outdoors and to people. What he didn't have was a no-cost way to ask for companionship.
"Want to hang out Saturday?" costs something — the possibility of being declined by someone he knew.
"Forty bucks, I'll bring the tent." costs nothing — his ad being turned down isn't him being turned down. And if it is accepted, it pays.
My wingman ad was a joke, but I still wanna go on that trip.
We do this at work too. You want the answer to a tough challenge, but you can't ask your mentor to give it to you outright. So you put a "Quick Sync" meeting on their calendar. On the outside it looks like you just wanna catch up, but what you're really saying is, "Tell me what to do." After an insightful conversation, you walk away with clear direction and look prepared.
Or maybe you send a "Can I bounce something off you?" Slack message to a colleague as you're building a presentation. You're presenting in less than 24 hours and don't plan to change the deck. You don't want their opinion. What you're really asking is, "Tell me I'm right." They tell you it looks strong, you present as planned, and look collaborative.
The payoff for "I don't know what to do" is being called prepared. The payoff for "tell me I'm right" is being called collaborative.
Yuri printed his rate in the ad. Ours is whatever people call us afterward.
Question of the Week
What's the ask you keep paying to avoid?
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