Sunday Setup
A weekly newsletter to help get your mind set up for a positive workweek.
07.13.2025 — You’ve Got (Unwanted) Mail
Delivery Deluge
They say the good things in life are free, but those good things don't always bring joy. While both the internet and Amazon are responsible for all kinds of positive impacts on humanity, they've also had some pretty bad side effects.
Thanks to Al Gore and Jeff Bezos, in some cities you can use the internet to order an item on Amazon at 8 AM, receive it before 2 PM, and return it by 8 PM, all on the same day. But, thanks to the dark side of Mr. Gore's mis-credited creation, the final destination of those returns is sometimes a random house in California, completely unaffiliated with said item.
While America's new favorite holiday — Amazon Prime Day — was recently extended from two to four days, it lasted much longer for one San Jose, Calif. homeowner. Every week for about a year Karen Holton received hundreds of unexpected Amazon packages for something she never ordered — cheap, faux-leather car seat covers. The packages just kept coming and seemed to multiply faster than Gremlins in a pool, at times being stacked so high, Ms. Holton was unable to use her door to check her mailbox.
The prime suspect in this reverse mail fraud crime — a Chinese seller with deplorable ratings — took full advantage of a minor glitch in the Amazonian matrix. Apparently, Amazon sellers can list any random address for returns, making it impossible to protect your deck from becoming an unofficial receiving dock for something absolutely nobody wants.
Where are porch pirates when you need them?
What Did You Expect?
As we travel down the road of life, it's inevitable that we'll experience peaks and valleys along the way. But, those ups and downs are really a matter of perception based on our expectations.
If you receive a 5% salary increase after your next annual review, but you were only expecting 3%, you'll most likely be surprised and feel appreciative. However, if you were expecting at least an 8% bump, you may feel jilted and jaded. In both scenarios you received a 5% increase, but your expectations produced different feelings.
As Mo Gawdat states in his book Solve for Happy, your happiness is greater than or equal to your perception of the events of your life, minus your expectations of how life should behave. Yes, that's a bit of a mouthful that may require a re-read, but in other words it means, when things go the way you expect them to, you'll be happy. But when they don't, you won't.
When it comes to managing expectations at work, it's important to stay grounded in reality so that emotions like frustration, disappointment, envy, anxiety — among others — don't roam around in your subconscious mind pecking away at your sanity like free-range chickens. And that can be challenging because you essentially have to simultaneously assess three different kinds of expectations:
expectations of yourself
expectations of others
expectations others have of you
Practicing expectation awareness is key when trying to manage self-expectations, especially for those of us who are high-achieving perfectionists. When you start to feel the unwarranted weight of self-applied pressure, ask yourself if your expectations are realistic or whether you're trying to live up to an unattainable, external ideal. And when you realize that you haven't made a dent in your mile-long to-do list, give self-deprecation a psychological stiff arm by focusing on the things you've actually accomplished vs those that still remain.
Managing your expectations of others can also be challenging, especially when you expect someone to do things as you would, but they don't. In those situations, try to lower the mental volume on control by recognizing that they are not you. Don't view their way of work as an act of defiance, instead assume positive intent by shifting your judgement to curiosity and ask, "Why did they do it that way?" and "What can I learn?"
As for the most challenging flavor of expectation management — what others expect of you — what you control is somewhat limited, and that’s why clarity is key. Instead of assuming what is expected, ask direct questions like, "What does success look like to you?" or "Is there a preferred format, tone, or level of detail you want for this task?" When you pair mindful communication with confidence and respect, you'll not only invite ongoing alignment, but you'll also prevent tension from eroding harmony and trust.
As you approach your work this week, try to mindfully manage your expectations — all three flavors — by replacing assumption with communication, control with curiosity, and judgement with clarity. You may be surprised by how much that simple change can free you from the frustration of unnecessary pressure.