Sunday Setup
A weekly newsletter to help get your mind set up for a positive workweek.
06.01.2025 — Monkey Napping
Monkey See, Monkey Do
When teenagers get bored, sometimes they get into trouble, especially when they don't think through the consequences of their actions. Interestingly enough, scientists in Panama have concluded that immature, adolescent humans aren't the only species that partake in pointless and potentially destructive activities, thanks to a recent rash of monkey-on-monkey kidnappings.
A group of young, male capuchin monkeys have been stealing baby howler monkeys for no apparent reason other than to — presumably — avoid boredom. Wildlife research cameras have shown several of these "chaos agents" climbing through trees on Jicarón island with the babies of another monkey species clinging to their backs. Some of these monkey nappings have lasted up to nine days, which can be a dangerously long time for the howler infants to go without receiving their mother's milk.
The trend apparently started way back in January 2022 when one specific male capuchin monkey — referred to as "Joker" by researchers — was caught on camera carrying four different infants. Shortly after that, other immature male capuchins followed in his mischievous footsteps, sometimes traveling far distances to steal the babies.
The strangest thing about all of this is that none of the capuchin monkey elders have attempted to put a stop to the bad behavior. According to researchers, they seem kind of "blasé." That right there further differentiates us from monkeys, because if humans lived in trees and teenagers were caught stealing baby sharks for fun, parents wouldn't have to tell them to "go get me a switch!"
Silent Sabotage
Anyone that knows me well, or has worked with me in the past, knows that I am a team player. I truly believe in the "we are smarter than me" approach, and am always committed to finding a way to leverage the individual strengths of each team member to achieve a common goal — even when some team members have challenging personalities.
As a project manager, I've often interacted with every team member throughout the project lifecycle, sometimes daily. At times project management can be a thankless job, especially when it devolves to herding cats — some of which can be passive aggressive.
If you've worked in corporate America long enough, you've no doubt encountered colleagues — even managers — who express negative feelings through actions instead of words. The ones who don't reply to emails in a timely manner, and when they do, it's with vague answers that avoid commitment. The ones that withhold helpful information or guidance while outwardly appearing cooperative — "I'll keep you posted." — but they never do. Or my personal favorite, they hit you with backhanded compliments — "Wow, you actually made a good point in the meeting today." — which can make you wanna hit them with a backhand Serena Williams would envy. But while that might feel awesome in the moment, it wouldn't be productive.
My even-keeled demeanor was dramatically challenged the first time I encountered a passive aggressive co-worker. No matter how hard I tried to be professionally polite and patient, I couldn't keep Taylor from sabotaging deadlines. As frustrating as that was, the fact that management allowed it was even more infuriating. Taylor was deemed indispensable, so excuses were often made. Cue the silent scream.
Unfortunately, Taylor wasn't the last passive aggressive colleague with whom I've had to work, but I can say that I have gotten better at dealing with this behavior thanks to mindfulness. I learned not to take it personal because although passive aggressive behavior may appear to be directed towards me, it's not about me. It's usually a coping mechanism people use to address feelings of powerlessness or insecurity, maybe even a fear of direct contact.
Passive aggression often thrives in ambiguity, so one way to combat it is to set clear boundaries with calm conviction to reduce room for games or assumptions. If you encounter passive aggressive behavior, try to calmly address it head on with comments like:
“If something’s not working for you, I’d rather hear it directly so we can solve it together.”
or
“I want us to be successful as a team. Honest feedback helps more than hints.”
Regardless of whether or not you're a manager, you can still lead by example when passive aggression rears its ugly head. Consistently expressing needs, concerns, and feedback with clarity will demonstrate a sense of maturity in how you handle tension and can influence team culture.
So, the next time Taylor seemingly intentionally procrastinates, masks disrespect with sarcastic humor, or ignores your inquiry for information (yet again), choose calm over chaos and respond consciously vs firing off an angry, emotional email. It may not be easy, but it'll pay dividends in the end.