Sunday Setup

A weekly newsletter to help get your mind set up for a positive workweek.

05.04.2025 — Dude, That’s My Car!

Hot Wheels

If you've ever had anything valuable stolen from you, your first reaction was probably one of shock and disbelief. But, imagine how shocking it would be to unknowingly purchase that exact same valuable item — not a similar one — months later from an unsuspecting seller.

A British man was recently duped into paying more than $26,000 to buy back his own stolen car. Ewan Valentine was so crushed when thieves made off with his 2016 Honda Civic Type-R, he initiated a search for a new one. Much to his surprise, he found one just like it — same color, year, and custom exhaust system — at a dealer just 70 miles away. What are the chances?

Turns out, slim to none. While the VIN and mileage weren't the same, so many other details were, right down to the rubbish he found. Apparently, the dealer didn't clean the car after receiving it from the thieves and before offering it for sale, which resulted in Valentine finding candy wrappers, Christmas tree pine needles, and a Tesco sandwich bag — all of which was in his car when it was stolen. 

But wait, there's more! When Valentine reviewed the car's GPS system, he learned that this "new" car had already been to his house and his parent's house. It was at this moment his inner critic channeled Fred Sanford and yelled, "You Big Dummy! You just paid $26K to buy your own stolen car!"

To add insult to injury, Valentine can't even drive the car because it's currently in police custody as forensic evidence. And he may not even get it back if the insurance company determines the cost to reverse "one of the best clone jobs ever seen" is more than the car is worth. So, I guess it's ok to get caught Ridin' Dirty.

Do You Hear Yourself?

You know that quiet — or not so quiet for some people — voice in the back of your head? The one that's supposed to help you make decisions but really just criticizes you and says things like:

  • You're not ready to speak up in this meeting.

  • You should be doing more, faster, better.

  • Why did you do that? That was so dumb!

Don't listen to it — without challenging it.

Everyone has a largely unconscious tendency to continuously observe and pass judgement on themselves, sometimes with an unfriendly, critical voice that distorts perception. Psychologists call this phenomenon the inner critic, and it thrives in environments where performance and comparison matter — like corporate America.

Although it usually thinks it's being helpful, the inner critic is considered to be among the most common and destructive stressors linked to several forms of psychological suffering, like burnout, depression, and impostor syndrome. And while this private monologue can sometimes be our own worst enemy, we shouldn’t try to completely mute it.

Instead, to quiet the inner critic's cacophony of criticism consider the following four steps.

  1. Catch Them — The mere act of acknowledging that your inner critic is in the building is immensely powerful. Simply recognizing how your body responds physiologically in the moment —  tension, shortness of breath, fatigue — shines a spotlight on that which thrives in the shadows.

  2. Hear Them — Like a small child, your inner critic really just wants to be heard. If you can listen to them objectively, then distill their message down to what's really behind the criticism, you can disarm your inner critic through reframing.

  3. Name Them — Give your inner critic a name. Seriously! Doing so can help you visualize your inner critic as a separate person, instead of as a part of you. I call my inner critic Floyd. No disrespect, but Floyd gets on my nerves. Separating yourself from your inner critic can help you change your perception of its thoughts.

  4. Tame Them — Instead of letting your inner critic control the narrative in your mind, distract them with a new activity. Change your state of being by physically doing something different right then and there. Try some breathing exercises, a visualization, or just walk out of the room. Floyd hates when I go for a bike ride because he knows I have to concentrate on something other than him.

As with impostor syndrome, the inner critic is a multi-faceted phenomenon and my thoughts are like the tip of an iceberg. If you're really struggling to turn down your inner critic’s volume, please review some of the following articles and consider seeking professional help.

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